Perhaps I am or Perhaps I’m Not – A Miles-Long Post

Happiness

We all have things we love to fuss about. Be it a midnight cookie snack, a little pat there and where with the cat, a week alone in the will…

All those can be small little indulgences we take for ourselves. And that is okay.

One on my little pleasures is caring for my cats. Recently, we got a little white kitty boy who, even to this date, is still nameless. Still, he is a fluffy, silky little bundle of joy and has a wire  addiction (as it seems to have taken too much of a liking in playing with my computer wires..ugh!). He is also clumsy and silly and simply lovable and will be properly presented to such lovely audience soon.

Reading list

Another thing I love to do for myself, when I can, is reading. And by reading I don’t mean just pure-old-fashioned reading in the form out a paper wrap. I mean also mean Blogs and Fan Fiction.

I’m always amazed by the great things that can come out of some people’s keyboards, little things that rival the best-selling books as they are written with passion and love for the things that matter to them most.

huh. I wrote some books

Certainly, not all of us are geniuses. Some snippets of the web aren’t even worth glancing over, all portraying a bad picture to what writing is about as they are stuck in a self-sufficient, stale and fad circle which they do not want nor know how to commerce out of. Perhaps this blog is more, perhaps is not.

I will be the first one to admit that I need to strive to make a change, to fully open the gates of the hearth and write as if my life-string is composed of letters and needs continuous tending for it to be able to live on. I fear I haven’t managed to do that in quite a while, but I will try my very best…Yet, as I promise that, I stray yet familiar thought crosses my mind ”Soon…when I am done with school”. I am a poor example myself, I suddenly feel the need to look away as if I’m telling those things to a mirror that points out my faulted thinking ways, far deluded from the truth. It really disappoints me when I can’t ”feel” a post about a topic I care about. I usually postpone it till I do though, even if never. I’d rather write the posts I can feel than the ones that seem too far away.

Perhaps I not the only one that thinks about their own mental quirks…Perhaps, again, I’m not.

Perhaps we should look for the good in things at first, before the bad. But who am I kidding, it’s in human nature, a human fault. That’s running through my mind now, my mom’s little girl kitty in my lap. Poor her, she probably has the most beautiful soul, but not the most appealing frown. She’s a little ugly ugly nut and is sassy and bitchy and wouldn’t leave my kitty boy (the nameless one I just told you about) to be near her. She growls and howls and isn’t friendly at all but from what Mom told me, she is actually a really sweet, verbose cat that has no problems with humans, just cats. Ah, little kitty, why don’t you take a nap? You’ve been throwing hissy fits all night!

Driver's seat

About administering sites…I’d might cross your mind that that’s just boring, hassle-full stuff. For me is not…as long as there’s no/minimal coding involved. If there is, my mind goes into frying mode…. Still, I enjoy the things it allows me to do: take care of a community, talk with and learn from them, provide them with all they need to make new friends, chat and enjoy themselves. I really like doing that.

Recently, an internet friend of mine set up ShiroChan.me, a place for anime and manga fans and invited me aboard. I must say, while we might have crazy ideas that don’t meet eye-to-eye all the time as he’s by nature a programmer and me, a websites addict, we’re having fun. If you’d like, visit us and stay for a while (That is a quote I picked up from a blog I saw recently. I’m afraid that, being my forgetful self, I can’t pinpoint who you are. If you somehow find me before I stalk you out, give me a poke and I’ll give you proper credit. I’m sorry, I’m simply too much of a buzzing silly bee to keep track of everything, names especially. I’m really really bad with those).

Conversation

As for blogs and comments, if you’d ever had me following your blog, chances are I commented or will do so in the near future and I’ll be writing lots! Surely, I saw some advice on WordPress that said: if your comment takes more than 3 breaths to read and 3 full lines, you should make a blog post out of it instead.

It’d might be actually good to follow that advice as it seems that both here, on my blog and on others, I tend to get quite lengthy with my comments, most of the time but I just can’t find it in myself to do so. I hope it doesn’t upsets you much when I take away 10 minutes of your time because I’m feeling chatty about a particular topic. That’s just me, silent when I don’t have enough to say, verbose when I can’t keep my mouth shut (or in this case, my fingers away from the keys). If I’m bothering anyone with that, please let me know. :)

Where I am going with this post? I, myself, don’t really know. I want to talk, to type, to write so I guess that’s what I’m doing now. I want to share and have things shared with me, everyone’s guilty pleasures and quirks as response. I am not one to pry or care about things I should not but sharing…I do love to share.

Design Wallpaper — Milton Glaser

Let’s see…What else do I like to do? Design. As bad or kinda-decent-but-really I might be at it, it relaxes me. It makes me feel tingly and happy, as much as the other things do. It’s just a way to leave a tiny footprint behind for others to see or never see, depending on how it turns out. I am no expert although I used to know Photoshop from cover to cover and be a really good critic when it came to images. It’s funny, while a few years ago you could have  given me a picture for me to point flaws out of at first glance, not I can barely spot things at my third pass or when someone else points them out. Who knows, if you’d like, I’ll post what I create and even take requests for free. I really want to get back into it but High School will be a bowl of thorns this year. It already is and it’s not even started yet!

I seem to have been going through such phrases a lot in my life. I used to be insightful, an adult in my childhood, shy, withdrawn, picky, salty if you rubbed me wrong and all those things that you go through in life. Some are still here, in a less potent matter but the ones that I would have loved to keep deserted me as suddenly as they came.

change

I guess this post is different from my usual ones, it has a different writing style and thought process, it’s a bit all over the place, gravitating around a subject but not really. Maybe it’d turn out alright… After all, this is me now, at 7 AM, sleep-deprived and unable to pinpoint my state of mind or spirit. Fun fun, lots of fun, isn’t it?

This post is getting really long, something I needed to get back into as it took some time to get back to writing from the heart as much as I want. I half-assed post was never something I wanted to present to anyone and I’m sorry if I ever let you down. I know, from back when I was an activity buzz, I made some nice acquaintances with some lovely people that perhaps I’ve forgotten about in all those months. I suddenly disappeared right after I received some nomination for Blog awards from some very nice people but, after all this time, it feels ungrateful to even think about displaying them. I’d rather earn them again, somehow. :)

Kiosk Painting

Talking about blogs, I changed my theme. My first choice, when I first started blogging was Pink Touch 2, then Sunspot and now this, Twenty Twelve. I rather like them although, till I finally settled on them, it took me days of constant viewing and comparing to finally choose one or at least narrow down my choices. I prefer readability, white and responsive pretty designs though-out so I finally settled on this one. I’m an imagine-junkie so I think the white will easily contrast with the imagines I pick out (if Zemanta cooperates. Oh, I will be fair, It did so far -except for this post-, even if subpar to my perfectionist self, I found some awesome sites for free-to use-images. If anyone is interested, I’ll post them here).

Happiness

Earlier, I mentioned that I don’t really know what this blog is about. Perhaps it is about finding myself, perhaps is not and I’m just running circles around a fluffy tail…

But enough about me and my cats. We’ve been going on for too much. Tell us about yourself, who you are or perhaps not are. :) If you already covered that or I somehow inspired you to write a post on your own, drop me a link and I will definitely read.

writing

Also, I am thinking of starting a Blog Challenge although I haven’t worked out the specifics yet and I might need more constant viewers for that to work or to be considered by you. Tell me what you think and what you want to see. I’d love some feedback on that. Tilda Swift was my inspiration back when she was blogging and her Blog Challenges helped me a lot. There have also been other people that really struck a cord with me. I will post about them soon. I can only hope I’ll be able to reach out to people like that, someday. :)

Weirdly enough, I feel like I can keep on writing. Maybe I am just trying to make up for eventual MIAs (Missing in Action) I might have after High School starts as it is in another town. I will do my best to be around this time and not go *poof* for half a year again. That’s one action of mine that deserves a truly hard face palm.

I asked a few questions today so I’ll recap them here as this post might be a bit confusing to navigate:

  1. Did you find at least parts of your inner-self, of the person you want to be? What are the things that you love to do for a much happier self?
  2. Do you think you are writing in the way you want to or are still trying to improve?
  3. Do you like the new theme and got any suggestions to improve it?
  4. Do you mind my long comments and posts?
  5. Do you want a list of websites that contain free-usage image goodies and do you have any that you use?
  6. Do you know how awesome you are? :) Just because you are!

Can't Buy Me Love

You don’t have to answer all my questions, I got a bit crazy with them. Just comment if you want. I do certainly get a fuzzy feeling when I a comment  but I’d rather you’d written out only for the things that touched you.

*nervous laugh* I’ll leave this at this for now. I am breaking too many *blog rules* (which I don’t particularly care about, I just write because I like writing) here with so many topics flying around but hey, if you enjoy writing something at least your readers might appreciate the thought even if they don’t appreciate the mad. I’d rather not fake things out.

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9 thoughts on “Perhaps I am or Perhaps I’m Not – A Miles-Long Post

  1. A good while back, my friend and I. Well we like to come up with strange little games to entertain ourselves, and make other people just wonder. We were spending the night drinking and listening to music and what not, and ran out of things to do, long story short, we decided to replace or switch two letters in the alphabet. We choose “:g” and “p”. Thus discovering the strangest word ever, I think. I’m thinking you like to play games too so I’ll let you sit on that egg for awhile. Shoot me a line if you think you’ve figured out what it is…. :)

    1. Ah, this isn’t helping my fried brain…Mhm…for now I have no idea. I’ll let it cook for a while. And yes, I do play games, video games to be precise. I quite enjoy my shooters. :)

  2. That post was so honest and true that it made me :)
    There are a lot of things i like to do that make me happy: talk to my sister(she always knows what to say), play and cuddle with my baby brother(he’s my cousin actually), not to mention chill out with friends.
    I believe that i can only improve as a writer and that too with continued support and help.
    Heck no! i like reading long trailing thoughts…..remind me of myself. Plus, it gives an insight on the writer.
    And i would love to know more about those free image websites.
    :) and thanks for the complement

    1. You have such relaxing activities. :)
      Yes, I believe that we can improve as writers too but it takes constant practice and confidence.
      Haha, thank you, I’m glad to hear that. I was afraid I was scaring people with my length addiction. XD Not that I would have stopped doing it. Habit.
      You are welcome. And yes, I will get some free time to make a list of those sites then. They are quite handy. :)
      Thank you for your comments, loving them!

  3. Sounds like you have a lot to think about! That is a great thing. Having lots of ideas and lots of options is one of the best things about life (at least to me). So excited that you are back blogging :)

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